5 months

How is it that 5 months can go by so quickly yet at times I swear we have been without sleep for years? Despite the exhaustion, so much has changed in the five months since the girls have arrived.

Eating Habits:

I is still taking a Soy formula due to her milk protein allergy. She is taking between 4 and 6 ounces every 3 hours.  She has started fussing when she is getting tired but won’t go to sleep without a bottle but she is just using it as a soothing method since she passes out after about ½ and ounce or so…I have wasted so many ounces this week!

O is still on Neosure and is taking 4 ounces every 3 hours. She doesn’t seem to want an increase in her meals yet, which I would think she needs to do pretty soon to keep gaining weight, she is still a peanut and a good pound smaller than her sister.

Sleeping Habits:

We begin our bedtime routine at 8:00…though they have been getting tired earlier this past week so we are going to have to adjust. Every other night we do baths with Mommy, lotion, sleep sacks and bottles in the “baby spa” or our bedroom with the nightlight and rain noise. They are usually asleep by the time we are ready to burp and go right down. There are nights where the girls sleep all the way from 8:30-6:30 and other nights they wake up once. So, each of us has to get up at most –one time for about 20-30 minutes for a change and bottle. I am considering dropping the diaper change unless it feels heavy so that they don’t wake up as much.

We have been trying to move O into her Halo bassinet, but she really likes how the rock n play cradles her and flails around with too much space around her. She usually goes down alright since she is already asleep and will sleep for upwards of an hour. When she tries to transition to a new sleep cycle, she wakes up and screams. We will rock her back to sleep and try to put her down again but she usually wakes within 10 minutes. After we rock her and put her back a few times, knowing that her sister will still be up at 6:30 I have been putting O back into the rock n play so that we can get some rest. This past week I bought a quilted fleece sheet for the pack n play and she actually napped well in that during the day. I had the genius idea to try it at night. So I had Hubby take it down and move it next to the bed. This meant he also had to take apart the Halo and move that as well as the rock n play out… What a guy! I also decided to really go big or go home by not putting her in a sleep sack. Instead, I put her in a long sleeve onesie and fleece jammie. I fed her and put her down asleep… Just like before, she woke up after an hour. Instead of picking her up I just rocked the mattress and out she went. WIN! I had a moment where I thought, okay, now is the time to tough it out. I put the rock n play out of my mind as a back up and was determined to make this work! She woke up every 10 minutes for about an hour and then it would go longer. I felt like I was constantly draped over the side of that thing rocking away. I’m sure I did this about once an hour or so but you know what? I never had to pick her up! To beat that, I noticed her sleepy face this morning and put her in her crib, turned on her mobile and music and walked out. She put herself to sleep and took a quick 30 minute nap…long enough for me to make some banana bread with I in her high chair.

I will be thrilled if she can sleep in her pack n play! It will make traveling and transitioning to cribs that much easier! I is next and I think she will be more difficult!

We are still trying to figure out a daytime nap schedule. Their sleep seems to change daily. Both girls will stay up for 1.5-2 hours before needing a snooze. They will sleep in the Twin Z pillow or swing. If I can, I try to put one of them into the pack n play. O will stay for a bit but I was waking up as soon as she touched down. They will sleep from 10 minutes to 45 minutes then be awake for another 2 hours or so before another short nap. The only way I can get them to take a nap longer than an hour in the afternoon is to take them in the car. They sleep for about an hour in the car and sometimes they will continue sleeping in their car seats when we come back into the house. Not an ideal situation, but it gives me time to get some things done around the house.

Milestones:

The past month has been a biggie for our girls! With O being so fussy I knew she was ready to make a leap! Reading the book The Wonder Weeks has definitely helped me feel less frustrated when they are fussing. Understanding that this is their way of dealing with a change in development and needing Mommy has helped me cope so much better!

One day O woke up and decided she was going to conquer the world! I swear, this is how it happened! In one day she was chattering up a storm, grabbing objects, smiling, laughing and trying so hard to roll over.  I think she is our observant child. She sits back and takes it all in and when she feels confident that she’s got it, only then will she share her talents. She gets so mad when she can’t roll over even though when I help her, she hates being on her tummy. She cracks me up when she uses her sister for leverage. I left them both on their backs on their play mat for maybe a minute and I came back to O’s feet over I’s head and her tush in her face. Poor I!

Her sister I on the other hand tried things out right away and has been smiling and cooing for weeks now. She doesn’t show much desire to roll, but has started rocking in the past few days. She also just started trying to grab objects this weekend.

Both girls have found their hands and suck on them to self soothe, neither will take a paci. They are also getting used to their highchairs. I decided to put them together because O doesn’t seem to like to be reclined anymore and is constantly trying to sit up straight. It has been fantastic being able to pop them in their seats and make dinner or eat breakfast. I think it will get even better when they can play with some toys on their tray since we still start to fuss pretty quickly.

AS I said, it is has been a big 4 weeks for these little girls! Today we are hunkered down and watching this blizzard bury us with 18-24 inches of snow. We are beyond ready for spring but I am enjoying a nice cozy day with my snuggle bugs- which is a huge step forward seeing as how a month ago I dreaded the long days alone with them. I am finally starting to really enjoy my days at home with them!

 

Life with twins

Life with twins is both profoundly beautiful and grueling. I remember when we decided to transfer 2 embryos after our first two, single embryo transfers failed. I remember the positive pregnancy test and the day we saw two heartbeats. I remember the elation! They prepared us to lose one because of vanishing twin syndrome…but our babies hung in there. I remember rubbing my belly and imagining what it would be like once they arrived.  I envisioned calm days of snuggling together on the couch of rocking them both in my new glider and reading them a book as the sun set out their bedroom window. And there is some of that.

There are also hard moments. I think back their early arrival and days in the NICU…that should be the definition of difficult. There have been sleepless nights and days where they won’t stop crying. I struggled briefly with postpartum issues and we are at our wits end with this endless winter.  These hard moments have also strained our marriage. Two babies at once is a life changing challenge, there is no doubt about that.  I know that some of you are expecting twins, or are waiting to find out if you are having 1 or two and I can honestly tell you that, despite moments of thinking how much easier one would be…I would not trade my girls for the world.

 So what is it like—this whole twin life?

It is worry…lots of it! If they come early, if they are in the NICU…you will worry. You will worry about taking them home without the monitors and alarms. You will worry about SIDS, about if they are breathing (you will check 1 billion times a night) and about their temperature. Is the room too hot? Should you use the cotton or fleece sleep sack? Are they gaining weight? Spitting too much? Sleeping too much? Crying too much? I’ve heard this worry never goes away so we better get used to it.

It is figuring out a sleep schedule with Hubby early on… You both need to sleep. We went through several “models” and now what works is we each have a baby on our side of the bed and that baby is our responsibility for the night. It eliminated all arguments of who got up last or who needs more sleep.

It is powering through those first scary days where Hubby goes back to work and you have to keep these two little people alive all by yourself…on little sleep.

It is accepting help, and asking for it flat out. Ask for someone to bring dinner if they come to visit. Ask for coffee, ask for a nap…ask them to ignore the mess in your house because you really just can’t even think about that.

It is sucking it up and busting out that double stroller and taking them shopping. It may not last long before a meltdown but once you wrangle that stroller back into the trunk and both babies are passed out in the backseat, you will feel like you conquered the world.

It is getting out every day. This saved my sanity. Despite my girls hating being strapped into their car seats, the hour round trip drive to Starbucks two towns over and taking the back roads home gave me enough of a break (and quiet) to make it through my day, then week. You need to get out. If it is not winter- like it was for me, take walks; go to the park or that outdoor shopping mall…just get out!

It is scheduling visits so that someone can hold one baby while you hold the other because days alone at home are long. There were a few weeks around the 2-3 month mark where I tried to schedule a visit either at my house or someone else’s just to get through the week. I was not above begging people to let me come over with my circus. Now,  I go see my mom every Thursday evening. It helps knowing that if I can get to Thursday I will have some help, and another adult to talk to. I am pretty sure the novelty of my twins has worn off since my friends have pretty much stopped asking to visit and don’t call. They got their newborn snuggles and now they are out. I do miss adult conversation though and need to find some SAHMs.

It is taking an extra long shower until your fingers turn wrinkly because that is your only time alone. But I should warn you that you will still hear crying even if there is none. I hear phantom crying every single time I shower. It is also a good place to have a good cry of your own. And you will. And that is okay. Cry it out sister!

It is trying to let your husband find his own rhythm with the kiddos even if he is doing it ass backwards and it physically pains you to not jump in. I am still trying to conquer this one. Let him become and equal parent—feed them, change diapers, give them baths. I didn’t leave hubby alone with them enough and now it is overwhelming for him if I go out—so I rarely do and I desperately need to.

It is spit up…on every shirt you have, on every outfit they have, on the floor, couch and somehow the nursery curtains. Maybe not everyone has spitters, but I do and once this stage ends I will need new furniture, a new wardrobe and a deep clean of my house.

It is poop. And here is the funny part- you will be excited about poop! Who knew?!?! If they  become constipated, you will cheer for a poop. You will text your husband poop pictures with the caption “is this normal?” You will see every kind of poop there is and you will learn what is normal for your babies..and they may not be the same, mine aren’t. Word to the wise…black poop is no Bueno. We had black poop and were told it was normal until we showed our doctor a picture…yeah, not normal…milk protein allergy. Take poop pictures, rash pictures, cradle cap pictures. When in doubt, have a big old show and tell on your phone at your pediatrician appointment.

 

Yep, so that’s what it’s like having twins…it’s hard…it’s work. I have never worked so hard in my life. But here is why it is worth it.

They will cry, but when you hold them/walk them/ find what works for them – they will melt into your arms and fall asleep. You have never felt more needed  in your life. It is magic. And you will get a secret thrill out of them crying for someone else and stopping as soon as they are in your arms…even if all your arms want is a break. It feels good.

You will see your husband in their face or maybe they inherited your expressions. You will spend hours staring at them in awe of what you created.

They will smile one day…at you, because of you and you will cry because it is the best thing you’ve ever seen. And those smiles get bigger and on a day where you really don’t want to get out of bed, you will roll over and they will grin at you and magically, you can get up, and here is the kicker…you kind of actually want to.

Those smiles will become laughs and you will bend over backwards, make ridiculous sounds and faces to get one.

They will meet milestones and you will be proud! Smiles, laughs, grabbing, trying to roll over, hold their head up—you will be so proud and want to tell /send pictures/videos to everyone you know.

The best part of having twins…the snuggles. They will nestle into your neck and grab onto your shirt or lay their little hand on your chest and sleep more peacefully than anywhere else. You have the ability to soothe your baby into peace and it will feel like a superpower.

So while you will not watch an entire TV show, eat sitting down, sleep a full night or have a clean house for quite some time…it is worth it. And from what I’ve heard, it gets easier. And honestly, it has. We have come a long way and the 4-5 month mark seems to have made a big difference in my feeling human again. I am looking forward to the changes I know are coming over the next few months. Sitting up, crawling, being occupied with a  toy… but one day at a time.

 

Sleep!

I feel like I should knock on wood before I finish this sentence but…We are sleeping through the night!!!! Que my happy dance, fist bump, high five, angels singing hallelujah, fall into bed in triumph moment. Both girls have occasionally slept through the night over the past 2 weeks or so. If they wake up it is only once, to eat—then right back to sleep. The past 2 nights we have gone through our nightly routine…baths at 8, lotion and jammies, sleep sack and their last bottle in our room with the lights down and rain sound playing. By the time we finish burping we have 2 sleeping angels who we gently lay down and creep away from being very careful not to trip over the rock n plays and wake them up again. 2 glorious nights of a shower formula making, an attempted movie (hubby fell asleep during that one so we opted to head to bed instead) and crawling into bed by 11…then it is 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. IT…IS…AMAZING. The girls are sleeping between 9 and 11 hours without waking. If only I could go to bed right when they do, but I am torn between that and having some much needed baby free me time after my nightly to do list. I am crossing my fingers and toes that this keeps up.

Our next hurdle will be moving them back to their bassinets. We thought we would give ourselves just a little time to enjoy decent nights of sleep before we tackle that one. I am trying to put them into their pack n play more during the day to get used to lying flat again. They will both hang out in there for a few minutes before fussing. If I put them in asleep, O will stay for a good long while but I will either immediately wake up and cry or only last 5-10 minutes. I is going to be more of a  challenge to convince that this is a good move.

We are thinking ahead to moving them to their room across the hall. I know I am not ready to make that move anytime soon but have heard that the new recommendations are to keep them in our room for a full year. Has anyone else heard this? When did you make the big move? I feel like I am going to end up moving a mattress into their room and sleeping between their cribs whenever the move does happen. I know we will definitely keep them with us through at least 6 months…maybe through the summer…maybe a year…maybe until they are 5. Just kidding about that last one—kind of. I know it will be hard for me to trust that they are okay even though it takes maybe 10 steps to get from my bed to their room. But one step at a time. Let’s celebrate this victory of sleep!

4 month appointmet

Our little peanuts are not so little anymore! Today was their 4 month appointment and my jaw dropped when I put I on the scale. I thought she would be somewhere in the 12 pound range. 13 pounds 5 ounces! My little chunker! I was so proud! O was an impressive 12 pounds even. They are both gaining steadily and staying about a pound apart. I had one of those “you know you’re a mother when” moments today when I realized that I am ridiculously proud of their weight gain, their chubby thighs and the consistency of their poop. It’s the best! Hubby took the day off to accompany the girls and I to the pediatrician because two girls on a vaccination day is just too much for this mommy to handle. As I tell the girls on a daily basis, “one mommy can’t help two babies at the same time” (as much as I try to do just that).  After weights and lengths which is my favorite part we chatted about feedings, spitting, cradle cap and milestones. We figure that while our girls have been here for 4 months, their development is more in the 3 month range. They are both smiling but not yet laughing… they grab my hair but do not yet grasp objects. I think I is on the verge of giggles but just needs a bit more time, or maybe we just aren’t funny enough for her liking. Either way, the girls are progressing well. We were given the number for Birth to 3 and encouraged to have an evaluation since it would be free. Of course I wondered if they thought something might be wrong—which was not the case our Dr. assured me. Part of me does not want to call because I think our girls are just fine and why go looking for an issue. The other part of me wants them to have as much support as they can get should there be a delay or issue. At least we would catch it early this way, right? I’m still undecided about when I will call. If there is a reason for concern, do I want that concern right now or do I want to enjoy these early days?

I really do love our pediatrician’s office. All three doctors are very different and each fantastic in their own way. I have bonded with one of the doctors who has really gone above and beyond for me. She squeezes me in when I am in a panic about I’s relentless screaming even though I think the appointment was more for my nervous breakdown. She also called me several times in those early days just to see how we were doing. She knows my girls, which is the most important thing to me.  Even though we had to hold our girls through 3 shots each along with an oral vaccine and they slept for the rest of the day before baths bottles and bed- it was a good day filled with snuggles quiet moments with them at home.

Hubby and I are having some communication issues and are getting easily frustrated with each other. Whether it is lack of good sleep or losing our free time and sanity…it is not easy. But today we held our sleeping girls and are planning a trip to BJs to get our membership tomorrow. We have to get out when we can to break up these snowed in days! Our relationship will have to be another post on another day. All I will say is that this stage is harder than I expected on our relationship and I hope it will get better as time goes on and that we can get back to our more easygoing nature.

For now our little chunky monkies are asleep—hopefully sleeping off the effects of their vaccines and will stay that way until at least 7 AM. Something tells me that is wishful thinking.

You know things are getting better when you have time to blog. Hubby has left for work, O is fed and snoozing in a swing and I  is still sleeping in the bedroom. It is a difficult decision—try to put O back in the bedroom and maybe get another hour of sleep or just get up and enjoy some alone time. Since I am typing away, you can see how I value this rare quiet time. Even now I hear I stirring in the bedroom and hope that she settles for another hour.

So let’s keep this light because today is a fresh day, not yet touched by gassy babies or crying and Mommy guilt that I can’t give them both undivided attention. Let’s talk about the beautiful nursery that I have not shared and they have not yet slept in.

When I met my Hubby and saw his house for the first time I thought that the second bedroom would make the perfect nursery. The color was a muted purple—almost gray. A double window looked out over the backyard. I could imagine where the furniture would go and see a closet full of miniature clothes. Trying to fit two little people in that room was a bit more challenging, but we made it work with only a few adjustments.

They both have convertible cribs that will grow with them over the years. They share the dresser which also doubles as our changing table and is their current favorite place to lay and give smiles and have a chat with Mommy.  I love their glider even though we haven’t spent all that much time rocking in it because these girls like to walk rather than rock. I can’t wait to spend evenings reading to toddlers in this chair.

The only craft that I did for the room are the letters over each girl’s crib. And finally- the shades. I love the shades. They were expensive and took some convincing with the Hubby. With the cribs within arm’s reach of the windows we couldn’t do curtains or cords. I tried to find similar shades for less with no luck. So these were my splurge item. It’s a happy room. I love this room.

And in the time it has taken me to write this post—both girls are awake, the second was fed, both had a crying fit and now one is on her play mat and the other in a bouncy chair…I’m already exhausted and it’s not even 9AM!

4 months

We are coming up on our 4 month mark this Monday. I think we are on an upward trend with the girls—Thank God!

Isabelle Update

Isabelle has gotten so much better with the gas and screaming. We have her on a Soy formula and reflux medication. Most nights her crying is general fussiness now. Last night seems to have been an exception and she had horrible gas. I wondered if her grandma accidentally gave her the wrong bottle and she got the Neosure rather than the Soy since she hasn’t been that bad in a few weeks.

It still seems that as soon as it gets dark she gets restless and needs to be walked. You stop for even 10 seconds and the wiggles and crying picks right back up—this goes for both girls. The witching hour is real folks…only in our case it is hours. Our Chunky Monkey is also growing like a weed—a beautiful weed! She is so heavy, especially when compared with her sister! I would guess she is up around the 12 pound mark but we will see this next Friday at their 4 month visit. Miss Isabelle also smiled for us this month! She is happiest when she is laying on her changing pad. That girl will smile and coo until you take her off. I could really stay there chatting with her all day long. She has started what I think is attempting laughter and makes a sound like she is saying “hi”. It seriously makes all of the frustration worth it.

Olivia update

Our little Livie Bug is still small next to her sister. We finally coaxed a smile out of her this past week!! She seems to be more laid back than her sister as of now, less demanding during the day for sure! I feel bad when she sits happily in a swing while I deal with her fussy counterpart. The poor girl has a flat spot from laying on one side of her head more frequently. Her neck is also more stiff in that direction—possibly due to how she was positioned in my belly. It has been work to get her to lay on the opposite side but we have found that she will face wherever we are—so if she is on my side of the bed, her rock and play faces one way and if on Hubby’s—faces the other way so that she will turn her head toward the bed while sleeping. I am hoping that the flat spot will correct itself and we don’t need one of those helmets.

Olivia is still a big spitter. Her night time spits have drastically improved since she is elevated in the rock and play! I know the pediatrician wasn’t thrilled with their sleeping in them but everyone in this house is 100% happier to be getting some sleep at night and not waking up in pools of spit up. I want to move them back to their bassinets at some point but it might not happen—we might just end up moving them right to cribs at 6 months. The bigger concern with Olivia is that 4-5 times a week she has a “Big Spit”. She will eat, burp and seem fine. Then all of a sudden she makes a gagging noise and up comes her entire bottle in wave after wave of spit. There is a good amount of force behind the explosion and anything in its path gets absolutely soaked. We try to face her over a hardwood floor rather than furniture but sometimes a swing or pillow or Mommy gets in the way and I just have to peel off the clothes and start my day over. There is no rhyme or reason to when these explosions happen but the doctor doesn’t seem concerned unless she is not gaining weight or it happens after most feedings.

 

Eating, Sleeping and Pooping

All of the basic baby activities right?

Eating and sleeping  are the areas that I am still struggling to find a pattern. I like patterns and routines and schedules and lists! Twins throw that out the window! Some days they eat every 2 hours, some days 3 hours… Some days they will only eat 2 ounces and the next day 5-6. It changes from feeding to feeding and day to day. Can I just say that I can’t wait for a sleeping routine! 1:00 nap time? In cribs? Every day? Yes please, sing me up! The girls usually have one long nap 2-4 hours and a few shorter naps that range from 10 minutes to an hour. I have started writing everything down with the hopes of recognizing some kind of pattern I can mold into a schedule!  No luck yet. Some days they fuss so much that we drive to Starbucks. That usually happens around 1:00- I think this is when they get over tired. They pass right out and sometimes even nap once we get home—still strapped into their car seats while I sit down and enjoy the quiet—or run the dishwasher—or make formula- or do laundry…okay so I rarely sit down and enjoy the quiet…

I am happy to report that last night- Olivia slept for 9 hours straight! 11:30-8:30! Isabelle is getting close and slept from about 11-2:30 then 3:00-9ish. I give credit to my SIL for this one. We were visiting her and my nephew last week and she witnessed the inconsolable fussiness that we live with nightly. She took Isabelle and swaddled her up- gave her a pacifier and I have never seen this child more relaxed. We tried swaddling her when she came home but she always fought the blanket and came loose so we gave up and left her arms free at night. Well no more! This girl is getting swaddled nightly! We are using the Swaddle Me brand and they just recently outgrew the newborn size so I went out and bought our next size up! Sleep has been so much better! She settles faster and stays asleep longer since her flailing little arms aren’t waking her up. Last night was the first night I tried it on her sister since she has been giving us 6 hours blocks of sleep—low and behold that 9 hour sleep!  Back to the Swaddle we go!

Our girls are both complicated poopers. More often than not we get firm little poops that we have to coax out since they only partially come out. Anyone else experience this?  Is it a formula thing? They often have to put some good effort into the process. I hesitate to go the prune juice route.

Mommy Update

I think things are getting better for me. I was definitely dealing with some postpartum blues for a bit. It helps that the girls are sleeping more at night and that Hubby and I have a better (and more fair) routine. We have a baby on each side of the bed and that is our baby for the night. We switch every night so that one of us doesn’t get the good sleeper every night. It also helps that I am done pumping. I was only able to give the girls about an ounce a day. Since stopping—I have not had any discomfort  or need to pump since. It has taken away a major source of daily stress even though I feel guilty that I just didn’t produce enough for them.

It has helped my sanity to find places to go and people to visit during the week. I can’t stay cooped up for 5 days straight. Hubby is also working 12-8 every other Thursday so I take the girls to my mom’s until about 9. I can’t wait for warmer weather! Sadly, it looks like another foot of snow this week- on top of the 2 feet we got last week. I  hate February!

Finally, I was able to go shopping alone yesterday and got some non maternity clothes. I was also considering a membership to BJs or Costco….anyone have a preference?  It was so nice to be just me for a few hours! But nothing beats having one of my little loves asleep in my lap right now!

 

So much crying

The day to day life with twins is hard, I won’t lie. Having premature twins is even harder.  I have cried and thought I couldn’t do it on more than one occasion. But then Isabelle smiled at me the other day- a real honest to goodness smile that was not gas induced! Both girls snuggle into the side of my neck and hold on tight with both hands. Those small moments make it all worth it. What is hard is that my girls are 3 ½ months old but developmentally they are only 1 ½ months. We have been in the newborn phase for 3 long months.  I am ready to see some of those big milestones! I am ready to sleep through the night—or at least count on a good stretch of hours. I am ready for them to be entertained by anything for even 5 minutes. I am ready for them to recognize each other.  To smile just because I picked them up. I am ready for them to sit in their bouncy chair for a few minutes and be content and not scream the second I stand back up. I don’t want to rush their babyhood but days need to get easier.

Sleep has finally gotten better. The girls wake up anywhere from every 3 hours to going six whole hours at night. I really want them to transition back to their bassinets, but it just isn’t working out. They spit up more when they are flat and they wake up constantly when they are not cradled in a tighter sleeping situation. I know the Rock and Plays will not be a forever solution and I wonder how and when I should transition them to a flat surface. Anybody have experience with that?

We also have fussy girls. They cry… a lot. Sometimes they just want to be held. One mommy, 2 babies…I can’t hold them both all day long. Especially since we broke the 10 pound mark. Sometimes they just cry and keep on crying. Those are the hardest moments. When both girls are hysterically crying and I can’t do anything to help them. I have started packing them up in the car every day for a drive just for an hour of no crying. I also need to give my body, especially my very sore back a break from holding two squirmy little loves. We drive two towns over for Starbucks then take the back roads home. I even sat in my driveway for 30 minutes the other day just enjoying 2 sleeping babies in the back seat.

Isabelle has pretty bad gas that drops don’t seem to touch, multiple formulas have failed to relieve her pain. I know she hurts and I can’t help her. This is the hardest part of parenting to date. I want to fix things for them. I want them to be happy. I am anxious for them to outgrow the reflux and the spitting and the cradle cap—which is especially bad for Olivia. Going back to the crying for just a minute…night time is the worst. Hubby has taken to walking with them in the Ergo. So now, every night- they expect to walk…and walk…and walk. Time to break that habit.  I daydream of when we will have a nice quiet night at home, snuggling content little girls and maybe watching a movie.  But I know that tonight, Hubby will come home and we will walk them and rock them and beg them to just be calm. Or the alternative, which is what happened last night—they will snooze all evening and it will be a battle to get them to sleep before midnight and a battle to keep them asleep all night.   Is this just typical baby behavior or do I have especially fussy daughters? I honestly don’t remember my nephew being this fussy when I would watch him.

I honestly think that things will feel better when the weather warms up. I am dying to go outside with the girls. Take their fussy little selves on a walk or sit on the deck and bask in some sunlight. I’m sure being cooped up in mainly one room of the house is not doing anything to help my feeling overwhelmed and honestly, a bit depressed for a few weeks there. Until that happens, I am all but begging people to let me visit just to help the week go by faster and break up our days. It’s that or my poor Husband is going to come down to a giant hole in the wall because I really want to open up the kitchen to the living room. Leaving a stir crazy wife at home all day with twins gives her motivation and time to plan big changes to the house! Poor poor husband!

I want to find a monthly update to start for the girls as I decide where this blog is going to go or if I should start anew since we are no longer seeking little C’s but raising Little C’s.