Another Christmas is over and it was a pretty good one. Hopefully it was also the last one without a little bambino. Christmas Eve brought some stress as we spend it with Hubby’s mom’s family. They were on the “let’s break them up” campaign when his mom decided she didn’t like me. We still don’t really understand that one, but it was pretty severe and lasted over a year. So he really can’t blame me for having anxiety every Christmas Eve over another marathon party of nobody talking to me. This was also the first time we would have to give an injection away from home. The only people who know about our IVF journey are his brother and sister in law. We have never discussed our fertility issues with his mom….if we had I am sure half the world would know, and it would somehow be my fault. Anyways, I wanted a plan of how we were going to pull this off without someone questioning us. Hubby took the “it won’t be a big deal, we will just slip into a bedroom” approach. Might I mention how hard it is to sneak into a bedroom that is visible from the living room, which is filled will about a million family members… family members that would have no problem calling you out publicly on your sneaky ways!
Well, 8:30 rolled around and I gave him the “it’s time” look. His job was simple…get the ice, meet me in the bedroom. When this began sounding like a 007 mission, I have no idea. Hubby went to the freezer but did he get ice, which would have been easily hidden and explained? Nope! He got a big bag of frozen potatoes. What happened next was just our luck. He turned around with that frozen bag of potatoes right into his mother. Why?!!? Of course what came next was a cross examination like you would see in a police station interview room. “why do you have potatoes?” “I was hungry so I wanted to heat them up”. Oh Hubby—why potatoes??? With an endless counter of food to his right, this answer was suspicious and stupid and she wasn’t buying it. This is what happens when you wing it! Sigh…. I had to step in and say “ He has to give me an injection”. What is she going to say to that? As I hoped, she had no real response to my statement and we went on our way to stab me in the stomach in the back bedroom. I didn’t ice long enough, it hurt, I bruised, Merry Christmas Eve. It was also the first time I had side effects from the Lupron. It took the form of a massive headache and crashing of my hormones. I spent the last hour of the party in a miserable mood and almost begged Hubby to leave. Actually, I am pretty sure I made my desire to go pretty obvious, but because I said we could stay till 11 earlier in the night, the shift in my mental and emotional state did not compete with his desire to play Taboo.
I stewed for a good hour over that. Could he not see I was suffering? I held it together until we got to the end of the driveway where I totally fell apart into a sobbing mess.
Christmas Day and the day after were better for me. I got to see my nephew open his gifts on both days, got to feel what it would be like to have a baby in our house, got some great gifts, a new lens for my camera, cookbooks, a favorite movie and ate some pretty fantastic food. Shots and all, it was a pretty good 5th Christmas with the husband!
With the holidays over I am in full on IVF mode. My body, however has other plans. My nurse predicted my Lupron period to start around the 26th. Well, it is the 28th, while I have cramps and PMS I am not even spotting. We didn’t discuss this possibility during our conference call. Do I still start stims tomorrow? So I called the office. When my nurse called back, she said that we are not in a time crunch, so it is okay. She said that people can even miss their Lupron period because it can be extremely light. I have been examining closely, so I know I did not miss it. I also never have light periods, so I doubt that will be the case for me. Our new plan…wait. I hate waiting. We are giving my body until Thursday to start bleeding. If it begins tomorrow, I will go in on Wednesday for my baselines. If not, I am scheduled for Thursday morning to see what the deal is. I am willing my body to just start bleeding for the love of all that is holy! So either way, we will not be starting stims tomorrow as was the plan. More Lupron injections for me. In a way, I am okay with the delay, since we are supposed to finally get a taste of winter here in MA—a good old snow/freezing rain/rain combination tomorrow. I am fine with not driving in that! I will just have to cozy up with Hubby and start a fire.
As for these Lupron shots, for the most part they have been pretty painless if I ice. The frozen potato night hurt and bruised, and tonight was pretty painful, maybe because it was closer to my bellybutton than normal? The way this cycle is going, I may need to refill the prescription to make it to the end. I just hope that if I go in on Thursday, having had no period, that there is not a bigger issue that would alter this cycle. I am ready to get this show on the road! We are hoping that 2016 is a big year for our family!!