10 week bumpdate!

Due Date December 15, 2016

How far along: 10 weeks and 1 day

Babies are the size of: strawberries, prunes or kumquats

Maternity clothes:  I have sported a few maternity shirts at work since mine are all snug. On the weekends though, it’s all maternity all the time.

Stretch marks:  no new ones

Symptoms: I am still tired and in bed by 8:30 and the gas has stuck around. I am constantly burping. Besides these, I can feel a bump now since the babies are out of my pelvis and up below my bellybutton. That being said, I can no longer suck in the stomach so I am calling it the baby belly now even though it is not ALL baby. J

Sleep: Sleep is not happening…I am up every 2 hours to pee,  and then I have to roll over constantly because my hips are so sore from the PIO injections. Not have restful nights here.

Belly button in or out:  In

Wedding rings on or off: Wedding rings are still on but my right hand infinity ring had to come off already.

Movement: After our ultrasound today I know they are dancing around in there! It will be awhile until I can feel it though…but I can’t wait!

Food cravings: carrots and dill dip, popsicles, tuna melts…interesting combination.

Anything make you sick or queasy: Nothing is really making me queasy and I have not thrown up at all thank goodness! I do have times where I just don’t feel hungry or I am starving, there is no middle ground. I do gag a ton if I talk too much, have too much saliva, post nasal drip from allergies or just breath the wrong way.

Miss anything: Being able to order anything at restaurants! It has turned into… “nope, can’t have that because it has this, that either…or that” I miss gorgonzola cheese, sushi, iced coffee and slightly pink steaks and burgers!

Labor signs: Not for a long while yet!

Mood: Great most of the time! I have my grumpy moments and I have very little patience by the afternoons at work.

Boy or girl: Don’t know but we are dying to find out! Not for another 8ish weeks! I wonder if my lack of intuition on this matter means that there are one of each in there.

Best moment of the week:  Today’s ultrasound visit. Even though our regular Dr. doesn’t have the technology that our RE had, it was so comforting to see them today! They are now too big to both fit on the screen together! We could see both hearts flickering away, though won’t be able to hear them for a few more weeks. They were also moving today! One was dancing around in there so much it was hard to get a good look. Even though the visit was disappointing in that we couldn’t see them as clearly as we have in the past and we didn’t get any new pictures, we are at 10 weeks and they are both going strong! Maybe I can relax a little now.

Looking forward to: Our 13 week appointment! My sister in law just had hers with the same Dr. and has an ultrasound picture where you can clearly see the profile! Looks like a baby instead of a gummy bear! Can’t wait to get our first glimpse of these two little faces!

Purchases for babies: Nothing yet, it is so hard for me to make purchases without knowing the genders! But I think we will have to start making choices on things like strollers, cribs and furniture. Any twin stroller suggestions are welcome!

Purchases for mom: 2 pair of maternity leggings, maternity jeans, jean shorts and 4 shirts to get me through the school year! I don’t know why regular clothes aren’t like this- so much more comfortable!!



9 weeks

Due Date:  December 15, 2016

How far along: 9 weeks

Babies are the size of: grapes! About an each long each!

Maternity clothes: Not sure if I am bloated or a belly is starting to push out the belly I already have- That being said, I think I will go pick out a few pieces for work this weekend. Maybe some capris and leggings maybe even some short sleeve shirts that won’t be so form fitting.

Stretch marks: No new ones

Symptoms: Tired! There have been a few nights this week that it was tough to drive home because I was so exhausted. I promptly lay down on the couch and take a nap until bed. My stomach has been unsettled a few times, but if I graze throughout the day I seem to be fine. The gas is sticking with me and my hips are starting to hurt along with my breasts.

Sleep: I’m still up every 2 hours or so to pee. I am loving the pregnancy pillow I got because I am a stomach sleeper. It is helping me to stay on my side, even though I would prefer my right side to my left…sigh.

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On but watching them closely. I want to make sure I take them off before they get stuck on there.

Movement: Not yet, just the occasional cramps.

Food cravings: ice cream with cherry pie filling, carrots with dip and a chicken sandwich with guacamole and cheese…it’s been an interesting week of cravings.

Anything make you sick or queasy: The smell of cut grass really bothered me at work the other day. It smelled like  fish to me after they mowed right outside our classroom window…my kids thought I was nuts.

Miss anything: Sushi, iced coffee and meat cooked medium instead of well done.

Labor signs: Hopefully not for another 7 months

Mood: I’m more impatient at work, especially at the end of the day. I also yelled at Hubby last weekend for mentioning weight. Other than those few occurrences, I am happy most of the time! I will admit to having a few Holy Crap how will we handle 2 babies moments, but they pass quickly!

Boy or girl: I am starting to think one of each but no real instincts on the matter.

Best moment of the week: Getting my first Mother’s Day cards and gifts last weekend! Hubby got me a tripod for my camera to take tons of baby pictures and my mom got me a card and necklace.

Looking forward to: Going baby browsing this weekend, which will include a bit of maternity shopping for me! Oh and our 10 week ultrasound next Friday with our regular Doctor! I can’t wait to see my little C babies again!!

Purchases for babies: Nothing yet, but that may change this weekend.

Purchases for mom: Nothing yet

On a side note, we got the okay to stop the estrogen patches after our 8 week visit. I asked the nurse if she was sure. Duh, of course she wouldn’t tell me if it wasn’t okay! But still, I was hesitant to stop any medication that was helping my little ones. She said that it was okay to drop down to one and wean myself off…so a week later and I am still on one. Anyone else have this anxiety when they told you to stop a medication? I know it is probably fine, since my levels were high enough to show that my body was taking over but still. I can’t stop! I am sure I will have the same fear on June 3rd when I am due to stop the PIO shots! Who knew I would rather keep torturing myself with hormones and needles!


8 week update

Due Date: December 15, 2016

How far along: 8 weeks

Babies are the size of: raspberries

Maternity clothes: Not yet- but some work pants are getting a little snug.

Stretch marks: No new ones

Symptoms: Not too much, which I am thankful for. I get tired easily and just want to lay down when I get home. Constipation was an issue this week as was frequent urination.  Today was the worst nausea to date but I haven’t thrown up…yet!

Sleep: Crappy. Waking up every 2 hours or so to pee!

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Movement: Not yet

Food cravings: I had to stop on the way home this week to get the fixings for root beer floats! Hubby went grocery shopping and I made a PB and Fluff…Haven’t had one of those since I was a kid. My past cravings of sour and carbs have calmed down some.

Anything make you sick or queasy: Scrambled eggs and omelets…yuck. I can do fried eggs though as long as it is in a bagel.

Miss anything: I miss my morning iced coffee! I made Hubby get one even though he didn’t want it just so that I could have a few sips. Also…Sushi! It’s going to be a long 7 months without our sushi date nights.

Labor signs: No, and not expecting them for a long time.

Mood: Tired and impatient. I don’t have the patience with my kids at work, which could be due to how tired I am. I also worry…a lot. Trying to get that under control and consciously enjoy finally being pregnant!

Boys or girls: Won’t know for some time yet. I wish I had a feeling about what they are, but it isn’t coming to me.

Best moment of the week: Seeing our two little raspberries on ultrasound today! They have grown so much in the past 2 weeks! We could clearly see 2 heads, spines, brains and sets of arm and leg buds! Seeing them made this Mama feel much better!

Looking forward to: Our next ultrasound in 2 weeks! We have graduated from our specialist and are moving to our OBGYNs care. Since we are high risk, most ultrasounds will be done at the hospital on the high tech machines…and will be done more often!

Purchases for babies: Nothing yet, but I may start now since I am feeling more confident about this pregnancy.

Purchases for mom: Nothing yet. I do see some maternity leggings and summer tops in my future though!


5 weeks 3 days

5 weeks 3 days is what my app told me this morning. Our baby is the size of an apple seed or sesame seed. Over a year and a half of medications, injections, procedures and broken hearts- I can’t believe I can say this. I can also tell you, that in all honesty, I am terrified. I am trying to trust in my body. The problem has always been getting pregnant, so we are in uncharted territory here. We have no idea how my body will respond to actually being pregnant. I hope that now that our little one is snuggled in safe and sound that my body will have no major problems for the next 8 months. But as anyone who has struggled to get to this point, I am always waiting for the bad news, which gets in the way of being deliriously happy as I should be!  Every time I feel something, be it sore breasts or a pull in my uterus, my anxiety eases. But, like yesterday, there are times where I don’t feel anything and anxiety takes hold. I need to find a better way of coping with those moments, which are usually worse when I am alone at 4 in the morning. The daylight hours and company of others help me stay positive and hopeful that this pregnancy will stay strong and healthy. So emotionally, I am all over the place.

I am not quite ready to start with traditional “bump dates”, maybe after our ultrasound next week. So until then, my own version…

I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant. We do not yet know if there are one or two babies in there, but will be happy either way and will find out on Thursday!

I am tired! It really started two days or so ago—I don’t sleep well at night but wake up at 4 ready to go. I have been trying to rest from 4-6, when I get up. I always feel well rested when I get up, but about half way through my drive to work I am ready for a nap! By lunch time I am flat out exhausted and the afternoon is torture. On Friday, I actually put my feet up, turned off the lights and read a book that I will be starting with my kids during my prep. I had no energy left for my class in the afternoon. By the time I get home I am ready to lay down and not move for the rest of the evening. Thankfully, Hubby has been great about helping out, cooking and doing dishes for me. While I am exhausted, I have not been able to nap. My body feels worn out but I don’t actually fall asleep. Bummer. I do pass out pretty quickly though after my 8:30 PIO shot though.

My breasts have been hurting on and off. Some days, just walking down the hall is painful to the girls and other days, like yesterday, they felt pre pregnancy normal. So frustrating! When the discomfort goes away I worry. I have experienced some deep aches as well as overall sensitivity and it seems to be worse when I wear a bra…so guess what I will not be doing over vacation next week…

I still get some pulling sensations, but not as much as last week. I hope Little C is growing away in there. My lower back and hips have been extra sore and I have to pee fairly often, but that is no different than before pregnancy. But holy gas! I am seriously gassy this week! The gas is coming out both ends! My poor Hubby had no idea my body was capable of what it has been putting out this week!

We have told both of Hubby’s parents, both of our brothers and their wives and my mom. Everybody is very excited and happy! We are going to tell my dad this coming week when we go out for my birthday. Telling family members is probably one of the most exciting parts of this process so far.

This week I want to clean out the baby’s room and give it a deep clean so that we are ready to go whenever we find out what we are having! My current decision is…what kind of pregnancy pillow to get? I am a tummy/side sleeper so I know I need some help staying on my side. Any suggestions? My sister in law has 3, so I think I might go try them out next week when I babysit my nephew.

While I was going to go shopping today, I think lounging with a book on our new deck is a better idea! Spring temperatures have finally come back to MA and I am going to enjoy them for the next 8 days!

Beta # 2

Our first Beta result was ridiculously exciting! After hearing 195 last Thursday I let myself hope that this pregnancy would make it and we would get our Little C! Saturday was relaxing…we basically hung out in the house all day and moved a book case out of the baby’s room and into Hubby’s office. I was finally ready to make a move on that room since it has been a ‘catch all’ room. First it was Hubby’s room to hold his ironing board and tools, then it took the extras that we had when I moved in, then it was what we affectionately called ‘wedding central’ and housed all of our wedding stuff. Since the wedding it has been a room with a bed, our extra clothes and shoes, my bookcase and the outdoor furniture pillows when it rains. I hadn’t wanted to make it into a nursery because it was just too hard. But with our first strong Beta I was ready for the first step. Saturday was a good day.

Sunday was not a good day. I didn’t feel any of the symptoms that I had been feeling and I panicked. I was hormonal and emotional. I convinced myself that my levels had dropped and it was over. I didn’t even risk taking another test at home because I was scared the line would be lighter. Besides an excessive amount of burping that was going on, I didn’t feel pregnant. I went to bed but had to pee every freaking 5 minutes it seemed. 3:45 rolled around and I was wide awake in a full anxiety attack. How would I cope if the numbers dropped? I had to calm my pounding heart down by focusing on a book until I had to get up at 5:30 for my blood draw. My body was not a happy camper today.

Blood draw was quick and painless and again, I got to work on time and waited. I stared at my phone all morning. The time passed that they called last time and I got worried. Do they save the bad calls for the end? I couldn’t function…focusing on my kids was out the window and I couldn’t sit down because I would over think it. FINALLY right after lunch I got the call. She sounded happy enough. The results were in…

Beta # 2:   1,114

Holy Crap! From 195 on Thursday to 1,114 on Monday! I started crying and explaining that I had been having an anxiety attack since 3AM! I told her how I was sure it dropped. Her answer made so much sense to me… this process forces us to protect ourselves. We don’t get our hopes up so that we don’t get hurt as badly. I am finding it hard to believe that this is actually happening. I still worry since it is so early but not as much. I feel like every step we take, every milestone we meet,  my worry will lessen.  We are not keeping this a secret from close friends and family for more than a week or so, some already know. I don’t think I could keep it in if I saw any parents or siblings. While they don’t know yet…my birthday is this weekend and I am sure we will be going out to dinner with both parents so I think I will take the opportunity to share that my birthday wish is coming true!

Our next milestone is next Thursday….our first ultrasound! We hope to see that little fluttering heart beat!

Beta Results!!

The past 2 weeks have been a long wait. I wasn’t feeling much other than cramps so I assumed that this cycle didn’t work. I had the occasional headache and could smell the trash when Hubby couldn’t—but I had convinced myself of pregnancy symptoms before and I was not feeling it. I spiraled over the weekend, after my sister in law told us of their pregnancy. As happy as I was for them, I was crushed for me. So that is where we stood at the end of last weekend. Monday was uneventful. Tuesday was when I was overcome with queasiness on the way to the grocery store after work. Interesting… so I bought a pack of pregnancy tests. When I got home, I peed in my red solo cup with my boots and coat still on because I figured I could set up the test and unload the groceries rather than sit and watch it for 3 minutes. That is exactly what I did, I unloaded all of our food and went back to check the test, which I had basically shoved in a drawer in case Hubby woke up.

I didn’t even have to squint! There was a very clear, dark second line! Never have I seen such a dark line, even with my early losses. I was dying for hubby to wake up so that I could tell him! I wrote him a note and left it in the bathroom with the test. Hours passed and he was still passed out…oh the joys of a husband working the midnight shift! Finally, at 7ish he emerged and went into the bathroom. Even he could not deny how strong the line was! We were overjoyed!!! Of course he says that he had a feeling…I certainly didn’t! We then got to live with the happy anticipation of our first Beta 2 days later…Which brings us to today.

I was the first one in the lab, which is a first for me! I took that as good luck. My blood draw was quick and painless- though I have a pretty nifty bruise now and I ran upstairs to sign into my RE’s office to let them know that results will be coming their way today and I was off to work with no traffic, all green lights and I even got to work early! This morning was a win in my book! My kiddos were even behaving themselves today AND the rain stopped just in time for us to go out to recess before it started up again with a vengeance. I was out at recess with 3 of my team teachers when my phone rang…earlier than usual. There was no way I was not going to answer this call so I ran over by the building and talked to my favorite nurse, Ellen. I asked how she was and she said “wonderful”. You would not say that to someone who you were giving bad news!!

Then came the best words ever…CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE PREGNANT!

After my initial “holy crap” moment I asked, “how pregnant”. Because, let’s be honest, I have been here before and they have always followed up with “but your numbers are low”. Yep, I remember those 40 and 50 Beta scores and I was petrified.  I had her repeat my number twice…195!

Beta #1: 195

She seemed so pleased with this number that I don’t have to go back for Beta # 2 until Monday.

We chatted for another minute about how long I will stay on medication and that we will schedule an ultrasound after my results are in on Monday.

So as of now, 3rd time’s the charm! We have to wait 2 more weeks to find out if we have 1 or 2 buns in the oven and I can’t wait!  We are elated! This is probably the Best Day Ever!