More appointments

Well, here I am in my last week of summer vacation. How did it go by that fast? Back in June, I remember thinking that we will get pregnant this summer for sure. Yeah…no. We are on month 4 of actually ovulating which, I guess when you think of it as only trying for 4 months isn’t so bad. I know perfectly fertile women who take that long or longer to get pregnant. I am feeling pretty good about this month. I don’t know what brought about this optimism, but I’m glad I am feeling it. We had a beautiful follie, triggered and tried every day through my fertile window. I have been eating some pineapple- which, is yummy and healthy even if it’s link to implantation is a myth. I’ve been trying to stay active this week but I still need to work on drinking more water. So that’s where we are with our wait. Like every month, I looked up our potential due date (May 15th). It seems so far away. But I do this every month and then those due dates slip through my fingers. I am due to test on the first day of school. Imagine going into work and keeping that little tid bit a secret until I could get home and tell Hubby.

Aside from waiting I went to my Primary Care Dr. yesterday regarding my liver results. He really has a way of making me feel uninformed and question myself. When I told him that my RE instructed me to follow up with him he asked if they had said anything about the drugs I am taking causing this. Uh…no not really. They pulled me off of the Metformin but they never mentioned the Letrozole having side effects on the liver. You would think they would have if there was a connection. He looked it up ( he really had no idea what these drugs were that I was spouting off like a pro) and what do you know- increased liver scores is a side effect. The concerning part is that I had slightly elevated results before going on the Letrozole. Clomid, which I was on when I had the original blood work done does not seem to effect the liver. So along with the Letrozole side effects we are looking into Hep C and Hep B, both of which I tested negative for in the past and neither of which I think I have, but we will test again anyways or a fatty liver. So we are on a quest to figure this out before school starts next week. I had blood drawn again yesterday (what’s new right?) I feel like a human pin cushion. Friday we are back to the local hospital to have an ultrasound on my liver to see how fatty it is- or if there is anything else to be concerned about.

I have had more blood drawn, ultrasounds, medications and injections in the past 6 months than my whole life combined up to this point. It is a lot to deal with. Somehow this process has just become part of everyday life. The monthly excitement at actually making a follicle and releasing an egg- followed by the gut wrenching disappointment that, despite doing everything right- we failed again. We have had 13 months of disappointing pregnancy tests. And yet we keep going. I have to believe that this will work eventually. That everything we are going through—all of the bruises and side effects will be worth it when we hold our baby. So onto my last week of summer- tests and hospitals will not bring me down! I plan to enjoy the next 7 days to the fullest, imagining a baby is taking up residence in my oh so ready uterus. 🙂

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Summer Days

As I am writing this post I am sitting in our basement with a fan blowing in my direction. As much as I love summer vacation, I am not a summer girl. I love the time of year between October and January 1st. That’s it. The rest of the year is too hot, too cold or too rainy. I like all things related to fall and the lead up to Christmas. I hate being hot and sweaty. Today is a hot and sweaty day. 90 degrees in a house with no central air is suffocating. I am so glad that we finished the basement this year; at least we can stay slightly cooler down there.

I thought that summer would let me blog more than it has so far but not much is going on. This cycle seems to be dragging on. My day one was delayed because I had to stop the progesterone and wait impatiently for Mother Nature to kick in. We did our days 3-7 of Letrozole and Hubby went for his semen analysis. Way to go Hubby! I was so proud of him for being such a good sport about it. We are still waiting for those results but I think he was excited to get checked out just to find out how amazing his swimmers are. I hope to God that is the case and that I am the only one with fertility challenges. His appointment was last Thursday. I am hopeful that when I go for my 12 day ultrasound tomorrow, they will have his results for me.

What I am nervous about, as always, is my follicle development. This cycle I was off of the metformin and I do wonder what difference it will make. I have noticed that my acne and appetite are back—neither of which I am thrilled about. I wish I could have stayed on it but my liver just was not a fan. I will make the trip into the RE in the morning and hope for some nice plump follicles that will be ready to trigger. This is our third cycle on Letrozole. Develop good follies, trigger, ovulate and get a big ol’ negative on the HPT. That is our cycle. Not such a great ride, but one we have to get on every month to work towards getting our Little C.

In other news, we celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary on the 12th.

first comes love

Hubby and I celebrated by going to dinner at the restaurant that catered our wedding. Not such a great experience though. Our food took forever to come out and my jambalaya was not edible. But hey, we got a free round of drinks! We went home and ate some of our defrosted wedding cake which was more edible than my dinner but still tasted like the freezer. To cap off our celebration, we treated ourselves to a day trip down to the Connecticut shore where we got massages and meandered through a barn full of used books. Win! I stocked up on new books for my classroom! After a lengthy stay I had to drag Hubby out of there to cater to my growling stomach. All in all a great way to celebrate our first married year! Hope you are all staying cool and enjoying this steamy weather!

Progesterone Levels

There has not been much to report this month, other than school is finally out for summer! We had our 12 day ultrasound but my one and only follicle was only measuring 15. We waited 2 more days and triggered on day 14. I learned from last month and iced the spot before Hubby did the injection. It made such a difference! I felt no pain—at all! The injection site did swell and turn red, the bruise like last month. But I will take that if it means the injection itself was painless. This month I also backed down to 3 metformin because I was suffering from major intestinal issues. The last bit of new regiment was adding progesterone twice a day—starting 4 days after my trigger. I had no idea I would be putting pills up the lady parts. And the discomfort from leakage (gross I know!) is not overly pleasant during the summer. I have not wanted to go for walks because it is simply too gross. So that brings us to our two week wait. I have been enjoying some quality relaxation time at home. We bought a new hammock which I foresee many hours of reading in this summer. There has been plant shopping and just a little bit of cleaning. I am giving myself at least a week before I really make myself deep clean this house. So here we are 8DPO, planning to test this weekend.

I got the call from my RE this afternoon regarding my progesterone level and liver function. They were concerned with my liver function results last time and it seems that taking the Metformin has made it worse. So we are ditching those 3 pills a day. Of course my concern was by eliminating the Metformin, will that make my ovulation stop even with the Letrozole. The nurse seemed pretty confident in my reaction to Letrozole and my doctor thinks I will be fine without it. I will not miss the side effects from that one! The wonderful nurse then told me that they were thrilled with my progesterone level. I have learned to always ask what the numbers are because they seem to not want to tell you if you don’t. Let me remind you that last month’s level was 12. This month, for my one glorious egg put my progesterone level at a 21.4! A much stronger ovulation. Yay! Of course I asked if the hooha pills would change my results, to which they said they should not. So I will continue with them until I am 17 days past trigger and see where we stand. If I still test negative, I will stop the pills and should get my period.

Despite the great numbers, I can’t help but doubt that this cycle worked. Whether I feel this way because I don’t want to be disappointed, or that deep down I just have a gut feeling that I am not pregnant I don’t know. I am hoping to be pleasantly surprised this weekend when I test. Until then, I am trying to stay relaxed and not overly focused on symptom spotting or over Googling what people reported feeling at this many days post ovulation.

1st RE Visit

Today was a good day. I woke hubby up early to go to our 2:30 RE appointment. We gave ourselves plenty of time to get there and find parking. I have to say that I was not great company on the ride there. When I am nervous I get quiet. While I needed him there with me, I was not a good conversationalist on the drive. We got there, signed in and sat down to tap our toes and wait. Finally we were called in and after the regular weigh in and blood pressure (an a little chat between my nurse and hubby about being Portuguese) we waited some more. We sat in a room with an ultrasound machine, I couldn’t help but say “hey, someday our baby will be on that screen right there”. We are finally in the place where I know we will get our miracle. And hey, the relaxing screens on the ceiling lights were pretty cool too. The first room had a sky with clouds, and the second a landscape. Makes laying on your back with any assortment of tools up your hoo-ha feel like a vacation…Not quite…but I liked it!! So fast forward through the waiting and toe tapping to meeting our Doctor…

She is straight forward and a fast talker, but I like her. Once she told me “we will get you your baby” I loved her. She explained things with pictures and answered every question we had ( I may have asked the same thing 5 times—it was a lot to get my head around). She worked out our plan with me which is as follows:

Metformin: Starting tonight with 1 pill daily for a week and working up to 4 pills per day over the next
month. ( some of the side effects for this one don’t sound so great (diarrhea and nausea)

Provera: Will start this tomorrow for 10 days to induce a period about 2 weeks from now

Letrozole: 2 pills days 3-7

Oh and some awesome news! No more OPKs!!! Thank the lord I finally get to be monitored to see if I ovulate! No more guessing, no more smiley faces or lack of smiley faces, Hallelujah!

On day 12 I go in for an ultrasound to see if my lovely little follies have matured enough for the trigger shot. I’ll go again on day 14 if they are being stubborn.

Novarel: Finally we and by that I mean Hubby will give me the trigger shot of this lovely drug.

Now here I need your opinions. If we go with Novarel, we have to mix it but then I only get 1 shot. There is another option that comes pre mixed but I would need to get stuck twice… And go with the opinions!

And then came my favorite (and Hubby’s) part of the appointment…The ultrasound! I have always worried that maybe I have no more eggs, or that something is seriously wrong. We watched on the screen as she navigated my uterus…aside from being slightly tilted and with one very small fibroid, was normal! Yay! Then came the ovaries…and the numerous follicles that could be seen in both. SUPER YAY! So they are in there waiting to grow! I am not barren or broken! After that I was calm and confident and excited! We will get there eventually.

So the game-plan is to try this drug combination for a few months. If that doesn’t work we will try something else, then injectables. My insurance will cover IUIs and IVFs only after I have 6 cycles that show ovulation has occurred. Which sucks. But the Doctor was confident that we will get my body to ovulate, and that made me confident. I am hopeful and excited to see if this new course will work, if those little follies are ready to get to growing .