As I am writing this, I am curled up n the couch, under blankets with my gigantic iced coffee next to me. Today was my HSG test or Hysterosalpingogram. When the nurse told me last week that they really wanted me to go through with this test I was okay with that. I had been putting it off for a few months with the lets just wait and see what happens mind set. I was pretty calm until I actually scheduled the appointment on CD1. The nurse instructed me to take 800MG of Ibuprofen and prescribed me diazepam as well. Was it really supposed to be that painful? Of course this made me go Google crazy. As is the case every time I look something up online, there were mixed answers. Some said it would be extremely painful, others said it was virtually painless. With all of the drugs I was sure it would be fine.

Hubby went back to work last night, came home and went to bed around 9AM and I had to wake him up at noon. That is not an easy task. I really do appreciate him going with me. I don’t know if I would be so accommodating if he woke me up at 1AM to take him to an appointment. I was nervous about the pills I was going to take. It usually takes a good deal of pain for me to even take a Tylenol. I really did ask him if I was going to overdose on the Ibuprofen. I am such a rule follower—I had difficulty not following the 1 every 4 hour directions on the bottle. While laughing at my seriousness, he assured me I would be fine and all the pills were taken in the car on the way.

At the hospital—after Hubby parked as far away as humanly possible—I had to check in with 3 people before even getting to the waiting room. The wait was not very long-maybe 10 minutes before a peppy nurse came and took us both back. I really wanted my Hubby to be able to stay with me. The room was intimidating with all of the machinery. I changed into the gown and hopped up onto the giant table. I was pleasantly surprised when my RE came in. I didn’t know that she would be doing the test herself. It made me feel more confident and taken care of. She let her resident get me prepped with the speculum (ouch) and wash my cervix (super ouch). The catheter was put in, which was not comfortable and Hubby suited up with his apron. The test started and I kept hearing more and more voices coming into the room. The nurse checked in with me a few times, probably when she saw a grimace. From what I could figure out, my uterus is tipped up and they could not get the view they wanted. I had to shift onto my right side and my RE said that everything was fine and that I was doing well. Everything is all clear and we have one more thing checked off the list of reasons we aren’t getting pregnant. It was over soon after and I was able to get up and get dressed. There was a gush and the soap that they had used to clean my cervix made me glad I had put a pad in. I was probably very pale because the nurse asked if I was dizzy.

I felt like the anxiety medication was just kicking in as we were walking out. My limbs felt heavy but I was definitely in pain. During the test it felt like someone was pinching my cervix hard. More of a stabbing pain than menstrual cramps. I was almost in tears even with the Ibuprofen, I can’t imagine what it would have felt like without it. Even after leaving I was feeling sore and was working on a big headache. With all that medication I am surprised a headache made its way through. Hubby stopped to get me a very large coffee on the way home and set me up in the family room with my laptop, remote controls and my Iced coffee cup within reach. I am still fighting a headache and am feeling really tired but can’t fall asleep. I am not just spotting as they said I would, I am bleeding like the first day of my period and I feel gross.

I am so glad that this is behind us and I hope that I don’t have to go through that one again. On the up side, they say that the chances of pregnancy are slightly higher the cycle after the HSG. I go next Thursday for my 12 ultrasound, so I am hoping this is the case for us. But for now, I am curling up with some Netflix and waiting for Hubby to wake up later to perhaps convince him to order dinner since I really don’t feel like cooking. 


Happy Birthday Hubby!

It has been a good week. With summer winding down, I was happy to have Hubby home with me this week. He was home when another cycle ended without a pregnancy, he was home to babysit our nephew, he was home to go to the movies with his brother and sister in law, and he was home for his birthday today. This week, the good outweighed the bad. I guess this is true most of the time although I tend to focus on the negative. When I write it all out like that, we have a fantastic life. So let me spend some time being thankful for the one who makes that possible, the one who turned 33 today!

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My Hubby and I met online….. EHarmony to be precise. It Will Be An Everlasting Love jingles through my head frequently and was even the song our parents entered our wedding to. Thinking back, since they are all divorced and remarried, maybe it wasn’t the best choice…but I had to throw it in there! So we met online, two teachers from neighboring states. Our first date was to Panera bread for a mid day coffee. He was late, we talked for 2 hours and I knew that this was the man I wanted. I remember his sunglasses and plaid shirt, I remember how he tipped back in his chair and it took everything in me to not tell him he is going to fall and smack his head. That would be the teacher in me.

That date turned into weekly dates and finally the conversation that started with “I was just wondering if you were seeing other people” and ended with calling him my boyfriend and his statement that “farting is now allowed”. Haha. Oh the things we do for love.

We started dating in June of 2011 and by August he shared that he had taken the Civil Service test to become a Police Officer. By mid February he was starting an Academy- not an easy time by any means. It was brutal on a new relationship. This was also around the time that issues with one side of his family began, and definitely added more stress to a stressful situation. There were early mornings, late nights, endless papers assigned one night and due the next morning, shoe shining, uniform ironing and nightly sorting of his equipment . 5 months later he graduated and began working.

It was the week of his graduation when he asked me to move in with him. Being one of the new cops meant that he would be on the midnight to 8am shift for the foreseeable future. I had to get used to living in his house and being home alone at night. There were nights spent staring at the ceiling figuring out if that noise was just the house settling or some serial killer trying to break in. (It was always the house). We acclimated to his new sleep schedule (9AM-4ishPM). I listened to the scanner and worried about him getting hurt with all of the police centered issues in the news. While I still worry, I can’t live in constant fear of him going to work. I trust that he is good at what he does, that he makes safe choices and that he will come home.

4 years together and 1 of those married, there is no end in sight for the midnight shift. We have made it work. It is not a life that everyone can live, it can be stressful. I can forget that hid body is running on an opposite schedule from mine. I can get grumpy when he sleeps until 7 at night because he had to work overtime in the morning. I can be mad when he is called in on a day off (thank goodness that doesn’t happen often). Like everyone else, I get annoyed when he can’t replace the empty toilet paper roll or rinse off the knife he scooped peanut butter with, but we have an amazing amount of love for each other, have created a fantastic home and will grow into an amazing family when children finally come. So on his birthday, I hope he knows how thankful I am for him and how much he is loved. He truly is the only one for me, a fantastic husband, and I know , someday he will make a wonderful father.

****A quick IF update ****
With 3 ovulating cycles behind me and no pregnancy, I am scheduled for an HSG this Friday. Praying that everything is clear and that there is nothing blocking my eggs paths. I hear it can be painful- which explains the directions to take 800MG Ibuprofen and fill a prescription for valium before I go… wish me luck.