first trimester expectations vs. reality

It is hard to believe we are closing in on the end of our first trimester. I really am having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that we will soon have only 6 months to go. In all honesty, pregnancy so far is not at all what I expected. I expected to be sick all the time and to have a very personal relationship with the toilet. I expected to feel so exhausted that I fall asleep anytime I hit the couch. I expected cravings and hard core aversions and oh yeah, I expected to have smells send me running from rooms. My first trimester, or at least the first 11 weeks have had me questioning whether or not I am really pregnant, especially with twins. Are you sure there are two in there? I have had days where I have felt queasy, especially in the early weeks- heck, it was the only reason I took an early pregnancy test at home. There were maybe 3 occasions where I thought I might need to run to the bathroom and lose my lunch, but I didn’t. 11 weeks and I have not thrown up, rock on!

In weeks 4-8 there were definitely things that I wanted to eat and things that my taste buds had no interest in. I wanted carbs- bagels with butter, potato rolls, noodle soup…those types of things. I wanted nothing to do with meat or sweets  or things with flavor. I went through a week of wanting sour and I still have half a bag of jolly ranchers because that phase passed quickly. I have wanted citrus and fruits thrown in there too and I want nothing to do with eggs unless it is fried and thrown between bagel halves with cheese.  I still do not crave red meats, except for that one time I really wanted a McDonalds burger which I haven’t had in at least a year. During these past weeks I have felt queasy if I don’t eat in a timely manner and also queasy after I eat. It was a balancing act, that’s for sure. But it seems as those days have mostly passed.

I have not felt sick in the past week, have not had any huge cravings or aversions and going grocery shopping has been less challenging. I am trying to eat more fruits and veggies as well as drink more water. My doctor told me to start gaining some weight since I seem to have lost 5 lbs along the way somehow. That was a first! Take that husband! I have to GAIN more weight! HA! I just want to make sure I am gaining healthy weight and not chocolate chip cookie weight…well, not all chocolate chip cookie weight.

There were days when I thought I would fall down I was so tired at work. I would leave right away, get home and camp on the couch until bed. I am finding that I feel this way when I get home a few days a week, but overall, my energy is better. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I am getting down right shitty sleep at night. Seriously, how can one function when they are waking up every 2 hours to either roll over or pee? Then 4:00 rolls around and my eyes are wide awake for at least half an hour. Then it’s back to sleep for an hour and a half and I have to drag myself out of bed for work. Not good. Luckily, there are only 19 school days until I can rest up for the summer and nap if I want to, or sleep in if I take a sleeping intermission at 4AM.

I am feeling so lucky that these nasty symptoms have stayed away from me this far! After all that we have been through  just to get to this point, not being ridiculously sick is a fantastic treat!

While I am feeling good for the most part, I do have some pregnancy symptoms that are sticking around… gas, specifically burping lately has been extreme! I am impressed with the noises that have been coming out of me and could win any burping contest.  Gagging has also been an issue. It is worse in the mornings, but if I breathe the wrong way, talk too much, have a stuffy nose or cough at all I will gag. It’s gross. Last night was the first night I have ever had a foot cramp, and it happened twice. Has anyone ever had one of these? A Charlie horse in the foot is not my idea of a good time. I felt like my toes froze in distorted positions and I could not for the life of me move my foot. That was an experience I would like to avoid in the future. Luckily, Hubby was sitting right there and gave my feet a nice massage to calm down the out of control muscles. In fact, Hubby later gave both legs a good massage as I was laying there after my PIO shot. My legs were just so sore, I assume because I am on my feet all day long.

So that’s the run down of unexpected pregnancy symptoms.

Now that we are hitting the 11 week mark this week, I feel more confident in this pregnancy. And even writing that scares me. After a year and a half of fertility treatments, 2 chemical pregnancies and 3 IVFs, all I knew how to do was think about and worry about Getting pregnant. All of my energy and thoughts went towards getting to this point. It has been hard for me to accept that we are here and all looks wonderful. Without the major symptoms, I had an even harder time accepting happiness in being pregnant. Now that we have had 3 ultrasounds, at 6, 8 and 10 weeks and our babes are growing just as they should be, and are now moving (wow!) I think I can believe that this is happening and start thinking about and enjoying this pregnancy. Buying maternity clothes was a big step for me. It was a conscious move that meant I was accepting this pregnancy moving forward. While things happen and there are always risks, especially in a twin pregnancy, I finally feel calm (er). While I am sure that won’t last long, especially when we find out the genders of these two miracles and can move forward with decorating and registering- I am now enjoying feeling the stretch of my uterus, which has moved up over my pelvis bone. I can hope and dream and wonder about our two babies, who we will meet in just about 6 months.

After thinking about getting pregnant for so long, adjusting to actually being pregnant has been harder than I imagined. But here we are! Every day we are closer to being parents to these two loves and I am loving every baby growth update, round ligament pain and inch my stomach grows. I can’t wait for our 13 week appointment; finding out genders in July, feeling them move and having hubby feel them move!




Ultrasound Day

We hit the 6 week mark today! Over the past 2 days, I have been slightly queasy when my stomach is empty, have lots of gas…burping and other (sorry hubby) and tend to get tired by the middle of the day. Something new happened yesterday…I sneezed. Yep, thanks to this beautiful weather and the pollen, I sneezed twice. And it hurt! I had a stabbing pain on the right the first time, then on the left the second. I was sure I hurt whatever baby may be in there until I googled it and read that sneezing pain is usually due to round ligament pain. Okay, crisis averted.

That brings us to today. Our ultrasound was scheduled at 9:15. I was awake at 6 just waiting and overthinking everything. My symptoms come and go and overall, I feel okay. Maybe there was a baby and isn’t now. Maybe there is only one. I was terrified that we would go in and get bad news. I woke hubby up and started to make his eggs. We get fresh eggs from his mom, which are so much better than the store bought kind! I cracked the third egg and there was what I assume was blood…in the egg. I almost threw up right then. I have never seen that before! On the morning of our ultrasound it just freaked me out. So he ate Cheerios for breakfast and we were on our way.

I was stripped from the waist down and we waited for a good 15 minutes for our sonographer to come in. I told her about the sneezing pain, which she confirms is no big deal and then I tell her how nervous I am that there is nothing in there! She said that is normal for an IVFer to say and then I got reacquainted with Wanda…

Well, there was not nothing!


She asked us what we would say if she told us there were two!! Well, what I said was “shut up”! There are 2 in there!!!!! TWO as in twins! And then I bawled. After I controlled my tears we got to see the screen and I could immediately see one flickering heartbeat, then the other. 2 heartbeats!

2 babies, measuring exactly 6 weeks

Baby A had a heartrate of 113

Baby B had a heartrate of 110

Due date: December 15

I wish we had a video of the hearts beating, I think I would watch it all night.

Of course the Dr. talked about vanishing twin, and to not tell the world yet. But when I asked her if chances were good for both of them now that we have seen the hearts beating, she said yes. She just had to give us the talk about risks, but with 2 separate placentas and 2 beating hearts, things look good.

We will go back in 2 weeks to see our little Cs again! I can’t wait!